DD Day 5-- Off the Wagon

I totally "fell off the wagon" today. It was my Friday off work and I had plans. After I got the kids off to school I was going to catch up on my 50,000 loads of dishes, scrub the kitchen, clean the floors, was the windows, do some laundry, clean my room. Then at 10:00 I was going for a run until 10:30 where I would end at the school and walk Grace home talking about her day. Look at how proactive I was going to be! I was going to attack my triggers and fears head on!

Trigger: messy house........ Attack: clean it up
Trigger: getting dressed........Attack: wear work out clothes to run
Fear: failing as a mom........Attack: go on a walk with my daughter and clean house for kids
Fear: I can't run anymore........Attack: start running

Instead, this is how my day went. Sariah needed to print or send her essay to her teacher. It was do yesterday but her mom (me) sent the wrong one.

Failing as a mom: CONFIRMED

So I got up and ran to the store to look for a new cable.

Getting dressed: Trigger Pulled

Then I searched Wal-Mart. Nothing. Target. Universal cord $80. No way. Best Buy. Wait until it opens at 10. Universal charger selection from $60-110. No way. At this point I was now in a hurry to drive to the school to pick up Grace.

I will never be a runner again: CONFIRMED

Now I am pretty stressed out. No walk. No happy talk.

Failing as a mom: CONFIRMED. Again.

Then we try Sears. Maybe they have a power cord. Nope. By now there is no way that I will get Sariah's essay to her before "Fun Friday".

Failing as a mom: CONFIRMED. Again and again.

Heading home now, having failed in my task.

Messy house: Trigger Pulled.

And now I have received absolute confirmation that the focusing nob on my spiritual binoculars is, in fact, totally broken. All I can see today is the void.