DD Day Two

Today's Scripture: Romans 8:31

"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?"

Today's Talk: : "Look Up" Elder Carl B. Cook

In the 7-Day Doubt Diet, Renee Swope discusses the different frequencies we may be on. She says that just like a radio, we have AM (against me) and FM (for me) frequencies. I haven't ever thought of it this way. I have used the radio as an analogy for tuning into the spirit. If I am just 0.1 off of the station, sometimes it doesn't come in clear. You know things like that. But I had never considered that there might be entirely different frequency that can all be picked up by a radio. Or, in this case, by me. So I have been thinking today, what frequency do I tend to tune into? And can changing my thoughts be as easy as switching the frequency I choose to listen to?

Instantly, one of my most favorite scriptures came to mind when I was thinking on this. Jeremiah 29:11-14, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. And I will be found of you, saith the Lord..." So now, I need to try to think more like God. Tune into His frequency and trust that His thoughts towards me are of peace and that He will be found of me. Specifically found in my head whispering FM (for me) thoughts.

Today's job is to keep a journal. Just like you might keep a food diary, you should keep a doubt diary. So today, when I doubt myself I will try to recognize it for what it is.

 

DD Day One Report

Today's Report:

This might be a little disjointed. My brain works that way sometimes.
 

What I learned today... I have to be in the belly of that fish. That sucks! But honestly, it feels like the wind against my family; the tempest of our sea rages. And while my family has cried to the Lord, I slept. Now the only solution is for me to enter the "belly of hell" and cry to the Lord with the confidence that like Jonah, the Lord will hear me. And I should hold fast to the confidence of David that "thou wilt not leave my soul in hell".
 

My prayer for today is inspired by that of David in Psalms 143:

  

"Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift my soul unto thee. Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me. Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. Quicken me, O Lord, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble." v.8-11
 

 President Uchtdorf offered great comfort for the duration. He says, "He (Heavenly Father) does not wish to break your spirit. On the contrary, He desires that you rise up and become the person you were designed to be." So it's good, right?

You know, President Uchtdorf is one of my all time favorite speakers. The one constant in all his addresses is that God does not expect us to be perfect in order to receive His love. It is not something we can win by our great skills or talents or even our perseverance. It is not something we become qualified for. It is not something we have to die for. "Isn’t it wonderful to know that we don’t have to be perfect to experience the blessings and gifts of our Heavenly Father? We don’t have to wait to cross the finish line to receive God’s blessings."

President Uchtdorf also promises, "The very moment you begin to seek your Heavenly Father, in that moment, the hope of His light will begin to awaken, enliven, and ennoble your soul. The darkness may not dissipate all at once, but as surely as night always gives way to dawn, the light will come."

 

DD Day One

DAY ONE

Today I am suppose to get real. You know, determine what my doubts are so that I can face them and expel them. So here is a small sample of my current doubts:

• That I will be eaten by a whale.... okay, not literally. But much like Jonah was swallowed up by a whale for attempting to run away from what was asked of him by God. Last year at Youth Conference in August, Hillary Weeks spoke a lot about doubts and working to over come them. So I have basically been running away for almost a year. I don't want to be in the stomach of a whale... not even figuratively.
• That I will never be as good at running as I was a year and a half ago.
• That Heavenly Father no longer needs me to work with Him to bring understanding and the love of Christ to His children. You know, because I can't be YW President anymore. Not exactly logical, but this is a big one.
• That I am failing as a mother and one day my children will escape and never look back.
• That I am failing as a daughter and therefore deserve my fate with my own daughters.
• That one day, I will be too overwhelmed/afraid to leave my house. And then I will be that crazy old lady who little kids are afraid of.
• That there is no longer a place for me in the things I put on hold for the past few years.

Alright, so this is starting to depress me. I think I have a good list of doubts. Now is time to start putting them to rest.

Today's Scripture: Hebrews 10: 35- 36

35 Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.

36 For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.

Today's Talk: The Hope of God's Light

This is the talk that finally made it through my thick head to spur me to action.

Secrets of the Doubt Diet

A few weeks ago I received some inspiration on how to make my life better. I would like to say it was new and exciting, but the truth is I have been receiving this inspiration in so many subtle and not so subtle ways for the past few months. Here it is:

 

“Nevertheless, spiritual light rarely comes to those who merely sit in darkness waiting for someone to flip a switch.” (President Uchtdorf).

What?! You mean I have to do something? That's just crazy. I mean, I usually spend my time reminding my kids to turn the lights OFF. And if I ever just feel like sitting there, I can call my kids to come turn the lights on for me. But now I am suppose to turn the spiritual lights back on myself?... Of course I am. It is the only way it can be done.

Okay, so I'm pretty sure that I learned that “knowing is half the battle” (thanks GI Joe) when I was a kid. So what is blocking my light? What is causing the darkness? I have determined that I can sum it all up in one word: DOUBT. Yes, doubt. You're probably pretty amazed that I came up with this all by myself... okay, not entirely “all by myself”. I have had some guidence. The main source of this guidence (apart from the spirit, of course) has come from an unusual source... my Nook. See, I found this book I had downloaded some time in the last year. I thought it was a diet book so I hadn't really looked at it, but today I did. It is kind of a diet book though it has nothing to do with food. It puts you on a diet from your doubts.

The book is written by a faithful Christian women, Renee Swope. She is an author, public speaker and co-host to Proverbs 31 Ministries’ international radio program. Her book A Confident Heart, led her to write this program to be used as a daily devotional to help draw closer to God by gaining a confident heart. At first I wasn't sure this was really what I needed. Then I took the first advice from the 7-Day Doubt Diet, I read the first chapter of A Confident Heart. There was one part that really stuck out to me:

“That’s when I noticed a huge nine-foot shadow on the wall. I was surprised by how much bigger my shadow was than my five-foot-two-inch frame.

It was distorting my image on the wall by making my body look bigger than it really was. All of a sudden, it dawned on me. My uncertainty had created a huge shadow of doubt. Just like my shadow on the wall was distorting my shape, my doubt was distorting my thoughts and overpowering my emotions with confusion and questions. The shadow of doubt had become bigger than what I doubted—myself.

I just stood there looking at the humongous shadow. Then I bent down to put my makeup bag in my suitcase and sensed God whispering to my heart: You can only see the shadow because you have turned away from the light. Turn back toward the light.”

Whoa! Have I not just been told to get up and turn on the light! So here is the plan... I'm going on a doubt diet. For the next seven days, I will be woking on removing doubt from my heart. How, you ask, am I going to do this? Well there are only four daily steps to the plan.

1. Prayer
2. Talk
3. Scripture

Huh, kind of sounds like Primary so far.

4. Return and report

Each day I will read the scripture and advice that is outlined in The 7-Day Doubt Diet. The one change I will make is to read the scripture from the King James Version of the Bible instead of the NIV. As a Latter-day Saint, I also want to utilize all the resources that Heavenly Father provides me. One of the greatest sources is the living prophets. So I will also be listening and pondering one of the Conference addresses. I will also make sure to have a heartfelt and specific prayer with my Father in Heaven each day. Renee Swope offers written prayers in her devotional book. And while the prayers are beautiful and inspiring, I think God might want to hear about me in my own words. So my prayer will be more personal. Finally, I will return and report here. Why here? I am not sure. Maybe by having it available to all my journey will inspire others. Maybe I just need to feel accountable. Maybe my husband likes to be informed about all the thoughts in my little head and sometimes it is just easier to write it. I'm not really sure why, just that this blog is meant to be my tool

Monday will start day one. Wish me luck.

Hi Maranda!