And Men Are...

"Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy"-- 2 Nephi 2:25

This has got to be my least favorite scripture ever! 

The word might has many definitions. It can express permission, liberty, probability and possibility. It also means ought, should and denotes a power to do something; a force. Frequently, the word "might" in this scriptures is used to express that God has given man permission to be happy. That we have the possibility to be joyful. Furthermore, that those with a testimony of the Savior have a high probability to find joy and that they should. They should, they ought to and they have all the power to. 

So what happens when you don't? What happens when a combination of genetic, biological, environmental and psychological factors cause a disorder or an illness in your brain? What happens when you literally do not have the force needed to find joy? What happens when you have fallen on your knees so many times they bleed? When you have read every page of scripture. When you have studied all the words of modern prophets and shed far too many tears in the temple. What happens when you have put on your running shoes and run for miles and still find that you do not have the power to overcome this?

The simplest answer for a follower of Christ is that you rely on your Savior. Just choose to be happy and make the best of things. And why this is true and sound advice, it mostly just makes this situation worse. This answer, to someone suffering from depression, implies that they are not a true member of the fold of Christ. It suggests that they are blemished, flawed and rejected. That who they are is not good enough. And that if they were a better person they too would be granted permission, liberty, possibility and probability to be be joyful. 

For me, with my depression, this scripture becomes the test of my worthiness. This isolated scripture makes me feel like I am failing the entire measure of my creation. If Adam fell so I could be here and I am here that I might have joy, yet I suffer from depression how can I possibly fulfill this requirement. How can I, when I physically do not have the option to choose to be happy possibly have joy.

Herein lies the problem with isolation. The isolation of this scripture allows Satan to use the truth... not the whole truth and not nothing but the truth... but a portion of truth to lead us astray. It allows Satan to destroy the very support system God has provided mankind with. Especially for women. When used as a test of worthiness this isolated scripture creates isolation. Out of discomfort, fear, shame or anguish women do not ask those in the very society created for relief to provide them relief. In order to avoid the perceived judgement that they are unworthy because they are unhappy, women are fine. Everything is going well. They don't need help, They can do it themselves. Thank you for the offer, but they got this! As women we often equate the need for relief with a lack of faith or a weak testimony. But when we can step back and look at the bigger picture we can see how untrue this is.

Put this scripture back in context. 2 Nephi, chapter 2 is an account of the words of a loving father to his son. Lehi to Jacob. Jacob who is the firstborn son during a time that Lehi refers to as "the days of my tribulation" (v.1). From the beginning, Lehi acknowledges that his son has suffered afflictions, sorrows and rudeness. But that in all of this or perhaps because of all of this, Jacob has "beheld in thy youth (God's) glory." (v.4) Lehi continues to tell his son a the beautiful story of why. Why he suffered. Why all mankind sometimes suffers. He explains to his son that not only is there a God (v.13), but that He knows what He's doing (v.24). He explains the plan by which we may grow and not remain "in the same state" (v.22). That all of our afflictions are for our profit, our learning and our gain. But most importantly, for me, he tells Jacob how we will be judged. And guess what? The standard by which we are judged is not based on whether or not we are happy. We cannot test our worthiness on our happiness. And while wickedness never was happiness, the scriptures never say that depression is wickedness. The standard by which we are judged is truth and the holiness that is God (v.10) While I may fear that others will see wickedness in unhappiness I know that God only sees truth.