Monday, January 5, 2009

Secret to the New Song

Jaqui made a comment about me adding songs that make her cry. I am sorry. My new song was not really intended for Emily's birthday. It was more about the way I was feeling last night at 1 am.

Yesterday was a tough day for me. I need to get thicker skin. Sometimes it is just too easy to feel this big. I know that someone did not mean to offend me. And I know that some of that feeling lays on my shoulders because I let things bother me. But still, I felt quite small and insignificant and yet still managed to make a spectacle of myself on my first day back to Relief Society. Go me!

So to escape my own life, I allowed the TV to entertain me. And I ended up watching a show that reminded me of an event that completely shook the foundation of my world about 16 years ago. This song by Mary Chapin Carpenter was a favorite of mine at the time. I felt like "our dreams went bump in the night". I wanted to spin around and around like a little child until I fell to the ground. And when my head cleared I wanted to open my eyes and have it all be a dream. I didn't want my world to change. I didn't want to leave childhood. Nothing else has really shook me like that since, Events have completely changed my life since, but they have all been positive. Things that I looked forward to. Things that made my life better.

Well, anyway this show combined with my bad day and my usual post-Christmas depression conjured some of those same feelings. I am ready to twirl around. To forget that I have to be an adult now.

7 comments:

Amy said...

Aubrey has a really good twirling dress I wish I could barrow as I watch her spin in circles and it fans straight out and she giggles with delight.

Jaqui said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephen Purser said...

I love you honey. Maybe if we twirl together all will be right.
I am just not wearing amy's dress!

Heather Shepherd said...

Boy, I'm hoping that it wasn't me that hurt you on Sunday...I really do miss you in Primary!

Amy said...

Comment to Stephen-- I wouldn't want to see you wearing that dress either!
I would be a bit frightened! But who knows maybe it would look good on you if you were a bit smaller seeing that it was actually Aubrey's dress :)

Kelli said...

Just so you all know, it was none of my faithful followers. I think I would be able to talk to you about it and work it out without worrying that I would feel worse. It really is just kind of stupid.

Kristi Purser said...

Kelli,

Although I think you are Wonder Woman any day you would like to return to childhood and you need someone to tag along I am there my friend.

You are a truly amazing person and I hope you know that. I know I am blessed to have you as a sister, You are an amazing mother! Wife and Friend and a Faithful Daughter of God.

You Rock!

Kristi